Refreeze

All the snow that was melting in the yard yesterday left little puddles along the driveway. This morning all the puddles were frozen again.
I find my heart in the same condition. I spend time in the Word and I commit to righting all the wrongs. I will not disrespect my husband again. I will not waste another minute of my life being lazy. I will not overindulge in desserts. I will be exhaustively loving to my children. God has melted my sinful heart.
Then life happens. We oversleep. One of my children has forgotten to do a page of their homework, another hasn't put their dirty clothes down the laundry chute, and we all trip over it. The dog has to go out, but her rope is frozen in that refrozen snow next to the front door. Don't get me started on the cat. My heart, warm with God's love only hours ago, now acts as if it resides in Antarctica. All my intentions of the previous night are left there frozen in time.
Paul said in Romans 7 "For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing."
The eternal thaw is coming. In the meantime I will keep trying, but I can not live as I want by my own power. Christ has to live through me. The apologies are out and forgiveness is evident. As the kids got out of the car this morning at school after our hectic-not-the-way-it-was-supposed-to-be-morning I told them I loved them. The morning's worst offender smiled back, then skipped into school.